Three Ways I Failed Miserably as a Pastor

Jim Hall • August 29, 2025

If I had it to do over again

Three Ways I Failed Miserably as a Pastor

This is a New Testament Church…Oh Really…?

Most evangelical churches will boldly proclaim that they’re a “New Testament church.” I’ve made that same claim myself. But I’ll be blunt—I’m humbled and ashamed that it took me nearly forty years of ministry to finally stop and ask the hard question: Was that actually true?

I always thought I was standing my ground. Even within my own denomination I was the oddball, simply because I dared to teach the things most others stuffed into the broom closet, or worse, tore apart from the pulpit. Things such as Biblical gender roles in the church as well as the home. Terrifying subjects that most preachers were too scared to even touch. I demanded worship songs that actually directed praise to the Lord instead of pouring accolades on self. I preached the cross, called sin what it was, and hammered repentance, sanctification, and sacrifice—truths that sound like foreign languages in many of today’s churches.

But here’s the harsh reality: in all that, I still feel I missed the boat. Nay, I totally bombed. I minimized critical pieces that the early church treated as massive non-negotiables. Truths that we’ve reduced to little more than afterthoughts—or worse, avoided altogether. We’ve traded apostolic priorities for coffee bars, smoke machines and feel-good support groups. What mattered most to the apostles is now shoved somewhere between tax collection and mattress inspection on the church’s priority list.

So here I am, having to swallow the bitter pill of hindsight, saying the words every man hates: If I had it to do over again.

But if I could somehow hit replay, here’s what I would drive home with every ounce of strength God gave me.

1. The Urgency of Baptism unto Repentance

Neither the apostles or the early church checked a calendar, organized a special event or even wasted a second of time when it came to water baptism. The moment confession/repentance was made with the mouth, they instantly started looking for water. When Peter preached at Pentecost, he didn’t say, “Raise your hand, repeat after me, and we’ll schedule your baptism for sometime in the spring when the water warms up.” Far from it. What he really said was, “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins.” (Acts 2:38).

· What? Repent and be baptized.

· Who? Every one of you.

· Why? For the remission of sin.

Repentance and baptism weren’t two separate, disconnected ideas—they were welded together like two pillars of the same foundation.

But somewhere along the line the church has lost sight of the unnegotiable urgency of this step in the redemptive process. Today it’s treated like a sentimental ritual, a box to check once you’ve decided you’re “serious,” or a photo-op for family and friends. Worse yet, many times baptism is presented as a recommended but optional step. But hey, if you just got your hair done or if you don’t like getting up in front of people, don’t worry, God knows your heart.

That’s not how Scripture presents it at all. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. In those days baptism was immediate and an absolute imperative. Not only that but the new convert never had to be coerced or talked into it. They were literally looking for water as if it was the compulsion of their soul.

Let’s be blunt: the modern altar-call prayer has replaced baptism in most evangelical circles. But the apostles never told anyone to “pray the sinner’s prayer” or “repeat after me”. They preached repentance, faith, and baptism. New converts confessed Christ, repented from their sin, and then went straight into the pool. No time to waste. It literally resembled a man who was just rescued from the dessert, desperately sprinting toward water.

If I were pastoring today, I wouldn’t let a person sit for months, weeks, or even hours after repentance before baptism. The very day he turned to Christ, we’d be getting wet. Baptism isn’t a casual ceremony—it’s the God-ordained response of faith and regeneration. It’s the line in the sand that declares the old man dead, buried, and gone. And a new man is risen in Christ.

Now, I understand that the influence of Calvinism—direct or indirect—makes Christians recoil at anything that even smells of “works.” It’s practically heresy in some circles to suggest that any human action whatsoever could be tied to salvation. And yes, I know Ephesians 2:8 as well as anyone: “By grace you have been saved through faith… not of works, lest any man should boast.” And I not only accept it—I glory in it. Salvation is a gift of grace, not earned by man. But let’s be wise and think clearly here: there’s a vast difference between something being required for salvation and something being an element of salvation.

Here’s what I mean: You can dunk every person in your church or your whole town in water, and not a single one of them will be saved by that act alone. If going under water is all they did, then they went down dry sinners and came up wet sinners. But here’s where modern evangelicals stumble—Scripture intrinsically links repentance and baptism. Sorry if that makes you flinch, but it’s undeniable. In fact, you can argue biblically that one cannot rightly exist without the other.

Listen to the Word:

· Acts 2:38 – “Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins…”

· Acts 22:16 – “And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name.”

· 1 Peter 3:21 – “Baptism now saves you—not by removing dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience…”

· John 3:5 – “Unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

· Mark 16:16 – “He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.”

· Matthew 28:19 – “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them…”

· Acts 2:41 – “Then they that gladly received his word were baptized: and the same day there were added unto them about three thousand souls.”

· Romans 6:4 – “We have therefore been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that… we too might walk in newness of life.”

· Galatians 3:27 – “For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.”

Now tell me honestly: do those passages sound like baptism was treated as an optional, lackadaisical, que sera, sera afterthought in the early church? Not a chance. I can’t find a single verse where the apostles delayed baptism one second longer than necessary.

Take Acts 8. Philip encounters the Ethiopian eunuch—a high-ranking official rolling down the road in his chariot. In one of Scripture’s most entertaining moments, the Spirit tells Philip to catch up with the chariot. Now take a second to create that picture in your mind. A chariot charging down the road with some lone dude huffing and puffing beside it. If that doesn’t bring a smile to your face, I don’t know what will. So, as Philip is matching speed with a team of horses, he was somehow (by the Spirit) able to also hear what the Eunuch was reading and seizes the moment: “Do you…” gasp, “understand…” pant pant, “what you’re reading?” The eunuch admits he doesn’t and finally gives Philip a reprieve by inviting him into the chariot.

From there Philip concisely and faithfully presents the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Now notice what happens. The eunuch doesn’t say, “Great message. I’ll schedule my baptism when I can get my whole family together and I don’t have any official functions to attend. Let’s make a picnic out of it.” No! As soon as they come upon water, he blurts out: “See, here is water! What prevents me from being baptized?” (Acts 8:36). Now, I want to ask you two questions:

· How did the Eunuch know that baptism was immensely important unless Philip told him?

· Why would Philip express it with such urgency, if it wasn’t of the upmost importance?

So, once the Eunuch declares his desire for immediate baptism, what did Philip say? He takes the Eunuch right back to faith: “If you believe with all your heart, you may.”

In other words, you can’t do that unless you do this. Why? Because faith and baptism are intrinsically linked.

The eunuch confesses, they stop the chariot, and both men go down into the water. Philip baptizes him on the spot. That’s the pattern everywhere in Scripture—faith, repentance, and baptism, bound together as one response to the gospel.

So here’s the bottom line: You aren’t saved by baptism—you’re saved by grace through faith. But faith without obedience isn’t faith at all. You can’t tear them apart without butchering the Word. Or to put it plainly: you can’t have true faith without baptism, and you can’t have true baptism without faith.

And that’s where the modern church has lost its way and where I admittedly and ashamedly failed. We’ve reduced baptism to a photo-op with family with a potluck afterward. We’ve turned what was once the first act of obedience into a scheduling convenience.

“It’s January and the river is freezing” or “we’ve only got one to baptize, let’s wait till we have more signed up.” I know the excuses. I used them myself and it nauseates me to admit it.

No wonder the church is weak—because we’ve stripped the urgency out of obedience and gutted the fire out of repentance.

Pastors, elders, Christian men, let me be direct: baptism isn’t a box to check when you “feel ready.” It’s not a tradition to observe when it fits your calendar. The best example I can come up with is breath. You aren’t alive because of breath but you must have breath to be alive. You can hook up a recently deceased body to a ventilator and put breath into the body, but that breath does not make the body alive. But in order for a body to be alive, there must be breath. Similarly, you can baptize the dead but it won’t make them alive, but you can’t be made alive without baptism.

And how urgent is it? I’ll ask you this; when a baby is born, what’s the very first concern of the doctor? Answer: getting breath into that child. When a person is born again, what should be the very first concern of the elder? Answer: baptizing the convert.

It’s time to stop treating baptism as optional. It’s time to recover the raw urgency of the New Testament church, where repentance and baptism walked hand in hand and where obedience wasn’t postponed until it was convenient.

You say you believe? Then get in the water. No excuses. No delays. No half-measures. Let the old man die and rise up as a new man in Christ—and do it today!

2. Dedicated, Segregated Teaching on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

If you were to judge based solely on sermons or so-called “Christian” books today, you’d walk away thinking the Bible is fuzzy on men’s and women’s roles. Ambiguous. Open to interpretation. Up for debate. Let me set the record straight: nothing could be further from the truth. Few doctrines are more plainly spelled out in scripture than God’s design for men and women.

The issue isn’t that God’s Word is unclear. The issue is that His Word collides head-on with modern Western culture—and unfortunately, in most churches, culture wins every time.

A Neutered Church

Sadly, the church has buckled under cultural pressure instead of declaring God’s design with courage, pulpits quake with fear of offending. We’ve blurred lines, softened edges, and neutered the message until it no longer resembles Scripture. But make no mistake: men and women are different by God’s design, not by accident—and the church must declare that difference unapologetically.

The early church had no hesitation. Men were charged to lead, protect, provide, guide, and sacrifice like Christ. Women were charged to nurture, build the home, submit, help, and embrace God-given femininity in quietness, meekness and strength. Those weren’t cultural suggestions. They were divine mandates. And they applied in the home and in the church. Certain roles belong only to men. Certain roles belong only to women. That’s not negotiable.

A Radical Proposal

If I pastored today, I wouldn’t tuck this teaching away in some optional small group. No, I’d put it front and center in the main service. At least twice a month, men and women would be taught separately—men sharpening men, women strengthening women.

Men would be trained to rise from weakness, pornography, passivity, narcissism, and cowardice—to become disciplined, courageous leaders in their homes and churches.
Women would be taught the beauty of motherhood, submission, modesty, purity, and peace, elevating their calling instead of belittling it.

If you showed up on Sunday, you’d get trained in your biblical role. Like it or not.

A Case Study in Failure

I once read an article by a man defending women preachers. His whole argument rested on one story: he and his wife had invited their Baptist pastor to dinner. She asked him point-blank where Scripture forbids female pastors. Supposedly, the pastor froze. No answer. She “won” the debate, and the husband dutifully followed his wife into a lifetime of egalitarian error.

Now most likely the story is embellished but let’s say it happened exactly that way. Three things stand out:

The pastor was unqualified. If you can’t defend one of Scripture’s clearest teachings, you have no business in the pulpit.
The husband was unequipped. He had never been trained to lead, protect, or confront rebellion in his wife. Instead of guiding his wife into the truth of God’s Word, he caved to her sin.
The wife was untaught. She had never been discipled by older women as scripture mandates. She was never trained to obey her husband, to walk in quietness and reverence or to embrace biblical submission and gender roles. (Titus 2, 1 Corinthians 14).

That’s not simply the failure of the couple—it’s the failure of the church that was supposed to train them.

Why It Matters

This is no side issue. The modern church has trashed God’s order, and the wreckage is everywhere. Weak, spineless men. Discontent, domineering women. Homes in collapse. Children growing up confused.

When men are forged into godly men and women are built up as godly women, the church is unshakable. But when we flatten roles into some bland, genderless mush, the church becomes exactly what we see today: weak, compromised, and easy prey for the world.

3. Active, Firm, Yet Compassionate Accountability

This one ties in well with the last. The reality is, the modern church “community” is soft, shallow, and sentimental. We do coffee, donuts, fellowship and programs but what we don’t have that all the early New Testament churches did have, is accountability. Honestly, when is the last time you saw any form of church discipline practiced? Can you even recall an instant when a member caught in sin was placed under church discipline?

Men easily hide their sin because nobody’s asking the hard questions, and women drown under cultural influence because nobody’s calling them back to truth. Far too many churches are filled with effeminate “men” who swipe earrings from their wife’s jewelry box while pulling their hair into cute boy buns that are the envy of every woman in the place. They hide behind their phone or computer screen and hope no one walks in at the wrong time. Sorry sir, this is not manhood, it’s capitulation and it’s satanic.

When church time arrives, they retrieve the shorts and T-shirt they wore to the barbeque the day before and throw on some flip flops, ready to give their best to the Lord. Wait, let me grab one more drag from my cigarette or vape before going in the building. And let’s be honest, most wouldn’t even be there if not for the fear of the nagging rebuttal from the wife. They are masters at putting on the Christian cloak for an hour on Sunday morning, but that guy looks nothing like the man that wakes up Monday morning.

While the modern Evangelical church makes every excuse for sin, or outright ignores it, the early church didn’t play games—they confronted sin head-on. Ananias and Sapphira tried to lie to God and were struck dead on the spot. That’s how seriously God views hypocrisy.

When the Church Still Had Standards

I’m old enough to remember when churches actually had standards. Back then, the Christian world was strict—yes, often too strict—on dress, behavior, and conduct. Much of it centered on your personal testimony and how you represented the Lord.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I have zero desire to go back to hammering women with “no makeup, no jewelry, no pants” legalism. (At least in those days it was only the women arguing about whether wearing earrings was acceptable, but I digress.) And no, salvation never hinged on whether you sipped a soda pop or chewed gum. That was nonsense.

But here’s the thing: in our rush to escape legalism, we threw out something vital. For all their faults, those people had one thing we now lack—a standard.

The Stark Contrast

I’ll never forget years ago, when we were visiting churches. After one Sunday service, we drove past a Mormon church just as they were letting out. Dozens of people stood outside, moving toward the parking lot. What struck me was this: every woman and girl wore a modest dress. Every man and boy wore slacks and a button-up shirt. Most had ties.

I immediately drew a contrast to the service I had just left. Fewer than 20% of the women or girls had on dresses. Not a button-up shirt or tie in sight. Instead—shredded jeans, flip-flops, graphic tees, and baseball caps. The difference was jarring.

Now, am I saying outward appearance is all that matters? No. But it’s not nothing either. The deeper issue is that the modern church has abandoned standards altogether. The prevailing mindset is: I’ll come as I am, and God will just have to accept me as I am.

Funny, I recall another man in Scripture with that mindset. His name was Cain. He decided he would worship God his way and expected the Almighty to be fine with it. That didn’t end well. God set the standard, Cain rejected it, and judgment followed.

Outward Always Shows Inward

This isn’t about clothing. It’s about the heart. But clothing is certainly a window into the heart. If someone treats worship like a casual trip to the beach, it usually reveals how little weight they give the Lord.

And let’s be honest—back when churches had standards for how you approached worship, they also didn’t have folks puffing cigarettes on the church steps after service.

So yes, some will accuse me of harping on appearance. But those accusations tend to come from people who don’t actually have personal standards.

What Changed

Scripturally, Christians are supposed to walk different, talk different, dress different, act different (Romans 12:2). That was normal once. But now? We’ve traded overbearing rules no one could keep for an “anything goes” mentality where the top priority is making church so much like the world that the unsaved feel right at home.

Between those two extremes—legalism or lawlessness—if I had to choose, I think I’d take the former. At least they understood the concept of holiness.

And as you can imagine, when standards were buried, accountability went with them. But in the church of the Living God, accountability isn’t optional—it’s expected. The early believers weren’t lone wolves; they lived in tight fellowship where sin was exposed, confessed, and dealt with. They carried one another’s burdens, but they also refused to tolerate wrongdoing. Truth and grace walked hand in hand.

If I were pastoring today, accountability would be built into the very structure of church life. Men would lock arms with other men and ask the tough questions: How’s your thought life? Are you loving your wife? Are you leading your family well? Are you in the Word and in prayer? Are you rising up as a biblical man of God? Are you the same man when no one is looking?

Women would hold one another to the standard of Scripture rather than the standard of Instagram—modesty, purity, self-control, subjection, meekness and a quiet strength.

Accountability doesn’t mean bullying or shaming. It means loving one another enough to confront sin and push each other toward holiness. It’s firm, direct, and sometimes uncomfortable—but it’s also compassionate, restorative, and freeing. It’s the difference between a church that plays dress-up and a church that actually walks in holiness.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any sin, you who are spiritual [that is, you who are responsive to the guidance of the Spirit] are to restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness [not with a sense of superiority or self-righteousness], keeping a watchful eye on yourself, so that you are not tempted as well. ²Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love]. Gal. 6:1-2

These three aren’t add-ons. They’re the marrow of the New Testament church. Baptism tied to repentance. Bold, unapologetic teaching on manhood and womanhood. Real accountability that actually holds people to the Word.

Strip those out and all you’ve got left is a religious social club with a few Bible verses taped on the walls. Put them back in, and the church becomes a furnace—hot, refining, and capable of forging true disciples.

I’ll be the first to admit, I failed miserably in these areas during my years in ministry. But my prayer now is simple: that I can help other pastors stand firm where I stumbled, and succeed where I fell short.

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Estrogen in the Pews, Why Strong Men don’t stay in Soft Churches

By Jim Hall • January 2, 2026

Fifty-five people in attendance, and only fifteen of them were men. That’s what I saw at the church we visited last Sunday. That means one man for every 3.7 butts in the pews. I suppose it’s because of my passion for biblical manhood that I notice seeming trivialities. But wait, is this truly a trivial matter? It’s certainly easy to dismiss it as such. After all, the problem of estrogen heavy churches is certainly not a new phenomenon. But seriously…four to one? What could possibly lead to such disparity? Did all those missing men suddenly decide they don’t like the pastor? Was there a playoff game on? Did some secret memo go out telling men to stay home? I don’t want to oversimplify things. I’m sure there are multiple factors involved. But there is one massive, unavoidable bottom-line truth that towers over all the rest: Men don’t go where they don’t want to go. Pretty obvious, right? Think about it. Given the choice, men will avoid weddings like they’re radioactive. When they do go it’s for a couple reasons: to keep out of trouble with the wifey or support family or friends. Mr. Blue Collar will dig his dusty suit out of the closet, squeeze his overgrown midsection into screaming slacks, and endure the whole ordeal, when he must. But make no mistake, he’d rather bash himself in the forehead with a sledgehammer until the ceremony ends. Why do you suppose that is? I believe it’s primarily because no part of the event is geared toward him. Contrarily, it overflows with the elements that light the female fire. Decorations, ceremony, drama, pageantry, and emotion…did I mention emotion? Now tell me honestly… doesn’t that sound exactly like the modern evangelical church? When We Walked into the Estrogen Hurricane Sunday, when we arrived at the church, we were greeted at the door by a reserved, polite man who introduced himself as the pastor. A few quiet men surrounded him, hands extended, ready to shake. Everything looked normal. Calm. Respectable. Then we walked into the sanctuary. And suddenly we weren’t in Kansas anymore. We had just walked into a brewing estrogen hurricane ready to touch down. A booming voice rocked the building. And when I say booming, I mean no microphone required. And the brahma bull behind it left no doubt who was in charge. Now, for my own safety, please don’t tell the pastor’s wife I compared her to a raging bovine. I had flashbacks of Fort Jackson, South Carolina, standing at attention as a teenage recruit while my drill sergeant paced in front of us, breathing fire like a caged animal. Frankly, I think the pastor’s wife could’ve given him a few pointers. As the service moved forward, the pecking order became impossible to miss. A handful of men quietly fumbled through prearranged motions while the fire, fury, and authority poured out of the so-called “weaker vessels.” The place shook under the sheer force of the pastor’s wife’s voice as she pounded piano keys like Jerry Lee Lewis on a bender. That woman didn’t need amplification. A glance or a sharp jerk of her head brought instant compliance. Across the platform stood two men and two women forming the worship team. I’ll let you guess which gender grabbed the microphone, waved the congregation into silence while she launched into a spontaneous mini-sermon. And I’ll also let you guess who didn’t appreciate being momentarily upstaged in her own domain. The glare said it all. Of course, being a Pentecostal church, emotion and the Holy Spirit were treated as interchangeable terms. If it felt powerful, it must be God. As I scanned the room, I noticed the pastor himself standing nearly motionless throughout the entire “worship service.” The two men on the platform mirrored him perfectly. Silent. Passive. Submissive. Meanwhile, the women took full control. The few men scattered throughout the congregation sat in defeated postures, like men hoping not to be noticed. Afraid to breathe too loudly. And I thought to myself, huh, I wonder why there are only fifteen men here. Is this representative of all modern evangelical churches? I’d say yes and no. Obviously this situation was the extreme, although a slightly tamped down version is not far from the norm. Where It All Started The roots go straight back to the Second Great Awakening, when American Christianity took a hard turn away from doctrine and toward experience. Truth was no longer enough. Feelings had to confirm it. Emotion became the evidence of spirituality. When experience was elevated over doctrine, biblical guardrails collapsed. And right on cue, women seized the moment. They began stepping into more visible, authoritative roles within the church. The two developments went hand in hand. In order for the latter to happen, the former had to happen. For the first time in church history, the clear instructions of the Apostles Paul and Peter regarding women’s roles, conduct, and authority were pushed aside. In their place arose creative interpretations that allowed Scripture to be ignored while claiming fidelity to it. This movement paved the way for Pentecostalism, which took everything dangerous about the Second Great Awakening and multiplied it. Emotion-based worship exploded. Experience became unquestionable. This was fertile ground for the rise of women preachers and later, even women pastors. After all, God told me trumped printed doctrine. To challenge it was to challenge God Himself. The Feminized Church Put it all together. Emotion as the standard. Experience beyond critique. Women freed from biblical restraint. And what do you get? The feminized church. Men who once declared the power of God with fearless authority now stood hand-in-hand, tears streaming down their faces, murmuring emotional love ballads to the Lord. Baritone proclamations of God’s greatness were replaced with soft, introspective lyrics aimed inward. Within a few short decades, the early church model wasn’t just forgotten, it was openly mocked. Patriarchal leadership was rebranded as oppression. Biblical order was labeled misogyny. While claiming to be a New Testament body, they conveniently forgot that in the first-century church men and women sat separately. Men led. Women learned. Men taught. Women served. Oh the horror!! In those days women didn’t need to beg their husbands to go to church. Men gathered their families and led them to worship. And the church wasn’t three-quarters female. Why? Because the focus was on the masculine, not feminine. The service was designed for leaders, not helpers. For men created to drive, spearhead, protect, and rule. Scripture is clear: “The woman was created for the man, not the man for the woman.” (1 Cor. 11:9) Women even displayed visible signs of her submission. (1 Cor. 11:15 Weak Men Stay, Strong Men Leave Here’s the truth modern churches refuse to admit: Even weak men hate feminized churches. When a strong man finds himself in a wet noodle church, he leads his family to something better. When a weak man finds himself in that position, he either stays home or checks his manhood at the door and says yes ma’am. Let me be unmistakably clear: A feminized church is not a Christian church. Shall I say that again for those in the back? Church services with sprinklers spraying estrogen on the folks are incompatible with Biblical Christianity. They are mutually exclusive. Christian homes are led by men. Christian churches are led by men. There are no Christian homes where the man takes the subordinate role and there are no Christian churches led by women. Does the Bible give us a clear play by play of what a church service should look like? Not really. Scripture leaves flexibility on music, seating, coffee, and many other things. But on leadership and gender roles, it is not ambiguous. Interestingly, most biblical instruction concerning church operation is focused on the behavior and roles of men and women. And virtually everything it tells us is ignored or even demonized within the church today. Overseers must be men. (1 Tim. 2:3) But it doesn’t stop there. It’s not good enough to simply be male. Verse 4 mandates that the man rule his home well. Sorry, it’s not sufficient to simply be the “spiritual leader”, a “servant leader”, or “mutually submissive” or any of the other highly popular yet biblically erroneous catch phrases. None of them make you qualified to hold position within the church. You must be a man who rules. Why? “If a man does not know how to lead his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? (1 Tim. 3:5) Likewise, 1 Timothy 3:12 makes it unmistakably clear that those who hold the office of deacon must be men. And before anyone tries to blur the lines, deaconesses were servants to the church, not holders of ecclesiastical authority. We’re talking about the office of a deacon. Not “servant roles.” Not honorary titles. The office. Just like elders, these men were not selected simply because they were willing bodies. They were required to be strong leaders at home. A man who could not govern his household had no business serving in leadership within God’s church. The pattern is consistent. Leadership in the church flows from leadership in the home. The scriptural example: Jesus chose men as his inner 12. The apostles were men. Deacons were men. Appointed pastors? Men. Judas’s replacement? A man. Stop Pitching Church to Women The bottom line: we must end the trend of pitching church services toward women. The soft, lovefest singing: be gone. Mushy gutless preaching that challenges no one but lights a fire in the feminine belly needs to go. Churches are targeting the wrong demographic. While every salesman knows that you sell to the woman, church isn’t about sales, it’s about eternity and it’s about truth. Women and children need to follow the man of the house to the House of the Lord. They need to sit, be reverent, be quiet and learn. The wife has a question? She asks her husband at home. (1 Cor. 14:34-35). That way the husband can wash his woman with the word. (Eph. 5:26). Time to open the service; that’s on you sir. We need to pray; that’s you too. Communion needs served; you again. Scripture reading; get up there brother. “Open your bibles”: that better be a man. Can a woman sing on a worship team? Of course she can. But her quiet and meek spirit cannot disappear the moment she steps onto a platform. Talent never cancels command. A microphone does not nullify submission. Visibility does not grant authority. The church has no shortage of work that must be done. Children need to be taught. Hospitality needs hands. Service roles need bodies. Support ministries need faithful women. There is plenty for women to do. The problem is not lack of opportunity. The problem is lack of contentment. Too many women are no longer satisfied doing what God clearly called them to do. Just like Eve in the garden. She had access to every tree, every fruit, every provision God supplied. But that wasn’t good enough. Obedience didn’t cut it. She had to reach for the one thing God explicitly forbade. And that pattern hasn’t changed. Put it to the Test Here’s a simple exercise. Go to the websites of the churches in your area. Click the “About” page. Scan the leadership section. Count how many women carry the title pastor or co-pastor. We don’t need to complicate it. We can just call those women Eve. Not because they lack value. Not because they lack intelligence. But because they reached for authority God never gave them, and the church applauded instead of correcting. And just like the garden, the consequences never stop with the woman who reached. Scripture doesn’t leave women without purpose in the church. It gives them a clear assignment. Older women are commanded to teach the younger women. Not leadership theory. Not platform presence. Not self-empowerment. They are to teach them how to love their husbands, love their children, be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, and subject to their own husbands. That’s not my opinion. That’s Titus 2:4–5. And Scripture even tells us why this matters: “So that the word of God will not be slandered.” In other words, when women abandon this role, the reputation of God’s Word takes the hit. So here’s the uncomfortable question. When’s the last time you saw that on the agenda at a Christian women’s conference? Not how to walk in your authority. Not how to find your voice. Not how to step into your calling. But how to be a godly wife. A disciplined mother. A reverent helper. God already assigned the work. The modern church just decided it wasn’t prestigious enough. Church Should Be A Gut Punch Everything in the church should be direct, hard-hitting, impactful, and challenging. Yes, men must be challenged. And whether the modern church wants to admit it or not, men want to be challenged. But that’s not what they get. In today’s church, men aren’t challenged, they’re bored out of their minds. We don’t sit in the pew being sharpened into strong, capable, God-fearing men because we never hear what that actually looks like. No one calls us up. No one calls us out. So instead, we check the clock. We shift in our seats. We plan lunch. We aren’t absorbing truth. We’re enduring time. Week after week, we hear messages that float safely above real responsibility. Nothing confronts our sin. Nothing demands leadership. Nothing presses us toward courage, sacrifice, or authority. And then pastors scratch their heads and wonder why the men are gone. Men don’t flee challenge. They flee irrelevance. Give a man something worth standing up to and he’ll lean in. Give him fluff and he’ll mentally clock out. I’m reminded of a recent Sunday where I was nearly comatose in the pew while the pastor tiptoed his way through week four of his so-called exposition of Luke 19. Four weeks. One chapter. And somehow still nothing actually said. Now, I wear hearing aids, which means I can pipe audio from my phone straight into my ears. Somewhere around minute forty of spiritual anesthesia, I had a stroke of genius. I pulled up a sermon from a real preacher. A man who actually preached. I figured I had outplayed the system. Turns out, I hadn’t. The man sitting in front of me could hear it. He turned around and shot me a sideways scowl. Plan foiled. Back to the snoozefest. So, what was the problem? As a man, I cannot stand safe, empty, cherry-picked sermons that use a lot of words but don’t actually say anything. I don’t want to be gently affirmed. I don’t want to be coddled. I don’t want spiritual cotton candy that dissolves the moment it hits my mouth. I want to be—no, I need to be—confronted, challenged, and inspired. I don’t need to learn how to be less threatening. I need to be more dangerous. I need to be grabbed by the collar, smacked upside the head, and set straight. I need to learn how to fearlessly and forcefully lead my family, not just how to smile politely while “serving.” Yes, yes, I know. I serve. I’ve heard it a thousand times. I’m supposed to communicate better, listen more, pray more. I’ve got all the limp-wristed, female-friendly clichés memorized. They’ve been drilled into my head so deeply I could recite them in my sleep. What I need now is for all that empty fluff to be ripped back out. I need the other side of Jesus. I already know the long-haired, soft-spoken, endlessly tolerant version that modern churches parade around. I’m well acquainted with the Jesus who never raises His voice, never draws lines, and never demands anything uncomfortable. What I need is to be reintroduced to the real Jesus. The Christ of Scripture. The One who makes rules, sets standards, issues commands, demands obedience, and holds men accountable. I need to be challenged. I need to learn how to stare down the enemy and face hell without blinking. I need to hear how to stand like Moses before advancing armies with nothing but God behind me and faithful brothers holding up my arms. The last thing I need is another self-help fluff talk that offends no one and changes nothing. Let me remind you of something the modern church seems to have forgotten: the Gospel of Jesus Christ is offensive. The truth of Scripture never makes the sinner feel better. It enrages them. Frankly, if your preacher ain’t offending, he ain’t preaching. You know what else I need? I need a big, nasty size-12 work boot planted squarely in my tail. I need my heart pounding out of my chest while a preacher looks me dead in the eye and calls out my complacency, my compromise, and my hidden sin. I need a man of God who will come at me with the scalpel of the Word, slice me open, and keep cutting until the rot is exposed and my sin pours out like blood. And don’t bandage me up too fast. I need to walk out of those church doors bruised and battered, but also cleansed, equipped, and finally free. If you haven’t driven me to repentance, you’ve wasted my time. You don’t make a man better by appeasing him. You make him better by confronting him. So preacher, listen closely. I don’t need you to make me feel better. People love to say the church is like a hospital. Fine. Let’s talk about what actually happens in hospitals. Surgery. Tests. Scans. Colonoscopies. Amputations. And sometimes fifty-thousand volts ripping your body off a gurney to get your heart beating again. You know where you usually go to rest and feel better? Home. Church isn’t supposed to be comfortable. It’s supposed to be curative. I need you to lead me to wholeness. I need to walk out of that building a new man, strapped up and ready for battle, not soothed, sedated, and sent back into the fight half-dead. And hear me clearly on this: Don’t you dare preach to my wife. You preach to me. You bring the Word straight to my face. No apology. No hedging. No soft edges. You bring it with guts and fire. I’ll take care of my wife. That’s my responsibility, not yours. And here’s the truth that might shock you: although she may think she needs the soft, pandering fluff she’s grown accustomed to, what she actually needs is the exact same Word of God I need. Uncompromised. Powerful. Life-changing. So, what do the women do while their husbands are getting pummeled, gutted, and sewn back together? Exactly what Scripture says. They close their mouths. They sit reverently. They learn. And men, that brings us to the real issue. It’s time we stop shopping for churches that cater to comfort and start looking for a man’s church. One that kicks the soft and mushy out the door right alongside the cowards hiding behind pulpits. It’s time to replace them with strong, convicted, dangerous men who fear God more than they fear complaints. So the question isn’t whether the church needs to change. The question is this: Are you man enough to demand it?

The Lies Satan Tells Women, Then and Now

By Jim Hall • December 2, 2025

Satan’s Playbook: Why He Targets Women and What the Bible Really Says Getting Real About Biblical Womanhood in Light of Satan’s Old Tricks Introduction: The Garden’s Whisper and Today’s Challenge Let’s get one thing straight: Satan’s been running the same tired game plan since Eden. He goes after women, planting doubt and stirring confusion about what God actually said. “Did God REALLY say that?” It’s the oldest trick in the book—and, believe it or not, women of both genders (yes, that was a jab at weak men), are still falling for it. The stakes? Whether we stand on truth, or buy into the latest trend of 'do-your-own-thing' theology. Satan’s Strategy: Doubt, Distort, Dismiss Genesis 3:1 (AMP): “Now the serpent was more crafty (subtle, skilled in deceit) than any living creature of the field which the LORD God had made. And the serpent (Satan) said to the woman, ‘Can it really be that God has said, “You shall not eat from any tree of the garden”?’” Slick move, right? Satan doesn’t outright deny—he just twists. He makes it sound like God’s words are up for debate, as if God’s commands are just optional life suggestions. Fast forward: Today, women get bombarded with the same stuff. ‘You get to pick and choose when and if you submit.’ ‘Scripture doesn’t MEAN what it clearly says.’ ‘Just interpret things your own way.’ It’s all smoke and mirrors. The enemy isn’t original—he’s just persistent. The pressure’s on to make women think God’s blueprint is negotiable, or worse, irrelevant. But here’s the thing: The Bible sticks, no matter how much culture wants to sand down its edges. Women’s Roles in the Church: Scripture Says What It Says Let’s not tiptoe here—Paul lays it out. 1 Timothy 2:11–12 (AMP): “A woman must quietly receive instruction with all submissiveness. I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” Not a lot of wiggle room, huh? That’s not a diss; it’s design. Women are called to teach, serve, and build up the church—just within the boundaries set. Look at Phoebe (Romans 16:1 AMP) and Priscilla (Acts 18:26 AMP)—solid women of God, but always in line with God’s setup. At no point did they oppose Paul’s direction. They were perfectly content with telling people about the Lord, serving and working hard but at no point did they ever try to worm their way behind the pulpit or usurp the roles restricted only to men. Did Priscilla, along with her husband, instruct Apollos? Yes, she absolutely did, but as the passage says, they took him aside. Not within the assembly. It was likely done at their home. Did Phoebe carry and deliver a letter? Absolutely, but nowhere in scripture does it say that she jumped into men’s roles. Titus 2:3–5 (AMP): “Older women…are to be reverent in their behavior…teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” See that last part? God’s reputation is on the line. Women’s influence is massive—teaching women and children, counseling, and supporting ministries. The limits don’t shut women out; they just steer the ship God’s way. Respect the Blueprint Women are made in God’s image, through the man—that’s Genesis 1:27 (AMP). Their gifts matter. Sure, leading the whole church is reserved for men, but women are spiritual powerhouses. Proverbs 31? That woman is a hard worker—her wisdom and hustle benefit everyone around her. She isn’t sidelined; she’s essential. Character Traits of Godly Women: What the Amplified Bible Says No sugarcoating: Godly women don’t make headlines for being loud or flashy. They get noticed for hardcore faith, humility, and grit. Here’s the rundown: · Faith: Sarah trusted God when it made zero sense (Hebrews 11:11 AMP). · Humility: Mary told the angel, “I am the servant of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38 AMP). That’s next-level humility. · Kindness: Dorcas (Tabitha) was a legend for her charity (Acts 9:36 AMP). · Wisdom: Abigail saved her household with one epic move (1 Samuel 25 AMP). · Strength: Proverbs 31:25 (AMP): “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future.” Boom. · Purity: 1 Peter 3:3–4 (AMP): “Let your true beauty come from your inner disposition…a gentle and peaceful spirit.” · Loyalty: Ruth went all-in with Naomi (Book of Ruth). Bottom line: The world pushes independence and self-promotion, but God’s looking for fruit—submission, modesty, respectful behavior, gentleness and a peaceful spirit, along with reverence, 1 Peter 3. And yes, that’s the actual win. Submission and Obedience to Her Husband: Not Negotiable Ephesians 5:22–24 (AMP): “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church…As the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands in everything.” That’s not a popularity contest—it’s God’s structure. Submission isn’t groveling, it’s aligning with God’s order. It’s active, not passive. Colossians 3:18 (AMP): “Wives, be subject to your husbands [out of respect for their position as protector, and their accountability to God], as is proper and fitting in the Lord.” 1 Peter 3:1–2 (AMP) says a wife’s respectful and pure conduct can even win over an unbelieving husband. This isn’t just about marriage—it’s about showing off what the gospel looks like at ground level. Submission in Church and Home: It’s a Team Effort 1 Corinthians 11:3 (AMP): “The head of every man is Christ; the head of a woman is her husband; and the head of Christ is God.” Women model Christ-like humility by owning their lane, lifting others up, and driving God’s mission—all without hijacking the leadership seat. That’s strength, not weakness. Don’t Get Played: Spotting Lies, Living Truth Oldest trick in the book—Satan wants you to believe God’s Word is fuzzy and outmoded. The Bible is not unclear, and God is not shy about what He expects. Women are called to live with guts, wisdom, and joy—even when it’s not trending. Submission, service, and godly character aren’t suggestions; they’re requirements. How to Walk It Out—Practical Moves · Pick Up Your Bible (AMP): Get familiar with the actual text. Know what God says—don’t fall for the remix. · Find Real Mentors: Look for women who don’t water down the Word. Learn straight from their playbook. · Go After Christ-like Traits: Humility, faithfulness, feminine grit. That’s legacy stuff. · Show Up and Serve: Whether you’re teaching, helping, or praying, bring your A-game. · Back Up Your Husband: Build him up. Respect. Support. Submit—but always under God’s authority. · Ignore the Hype: The crowd wants easy answers. Stand firm and let Christ do the heavy lifting. Bottom Line: Encouragement Worth Having If you’re a woman committed to God’s Word, you’re running a different race. Biblical womanhood isn’t always popular, but it’s powerful. God celebrates faithfulness, not flash. When the lies start flying, remember Eden. The serpent’s got nothing new—but God’s truth wins every time. Let your life shout God’s wisdom. At home, church, or work—be the woman who makes heaven proud. Proverbs 31, 1 Peter 3—those are your marching orders. Own your calling. Walk bold. Stay obedient. That’s how you win. Conclusion: God’s Design, Unapologetic Eve got played because she listened to a clever lie. Women today face the same bait. Don’t take it. Stand on God’s Word, live what He says, and don’t flinch when culture sneers. Submission is strength. Service is impact. Faithfulness is legacy. Be unshakeable, obedient, and proud to walk in what God’s mapped out for you.

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Estrogen in the Pews, Why Strong Men don’t stay in Soft Churches

The Lies Satan Tells Women, Then and Now

The Mutual Submission Myth: How the Church Neutered Men

Biblical Male Leadership: You don’t get to say no!

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